(Source: mystandards)
Posted 11 months ago
Posted 1 year ago
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!! NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”
LMFAO ^^
(Source: secretsbest)
Posted 1 year ago
The name is Bea from Jersey. Cute nerd and the most hilarious mother fucker you'll ever meet. Follow me on twitter @bbaltzarm
